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The Cost of Free

posted on February 21, 2009

I’ve always been the type of person who is more then happy to help people when they ask. Giving is one of the most beneficial things you can do. I firmly believe that the more you give, the more you get in the long run. Some call it Karma, but I just call it the right way to live.

This week I ran into a wall when this giving put me in a spot I have been before. Where while it may not cost the person I am helping anything, it certainly costs me time and energy which too often I think people forget are both very valuable resources.

My brain has been noodling around what to say about this and I’m still not sure. In the world we live today, it is more important then ever to help out other people because so many people need it. But, please don’t forget that something as simple as a thank you goes a long way.

So the next time that person holds the door open for you, lets you go first or answers a question you really needed help on show your appreciation in whatever little way you can.

Free is a dangerous word because no matter what you think it always costs someone something.

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Categories: Rants
  • http://www.murverse.com Mur

    I’m with you. If I help someone and don’t get a thank you, it makes me question helping them again.

    On the other side of the coin, I’ll forgive a lot for a genuine “I’m sorry.” A world-traveling friend told me those are the most important words to learn in any language – “I’m sorry” and “thank you.”

  • http://www.cc-chapman.com C.C.

    I couldn’t have said it any better Mur and yet so many people seem to forget those simple phrases. I’ve made sure my kids use them whenever it is appropriate.

  • http://www.methacton.org/6880946211591/site/default.asp congerjan

    Every week I go out of my way in my elementary library to give students bookmarks. The cost to me is time, sometimes I have to make the book marks myself. Sometimes companies provide free ones and I am always grateful and let them know. The cost for the free bookmarks is usually some kind of free advertising for them but I look at it this way, I will offer their advertisement if it means saving the spines of the books borrowed from my library. Oh, and do the kids say thank you when handed a bookmark? Most time no even though we are working on manners as our school-wide theme this year. So, I have started a new “training program”. Every time I hand out a bookmark to students I say, “you’re welcome.” The thank you usually follows.

  • http://digitalflotsam.org P-Dub

    I sort of disagree with you on this. (At the same time I hope I’m not the person who neglected to thank you for something) I feel like if I expect a favor to be returned, or appreciated demonstrably, then I am not really doing you a favor, I’m making a deal. I never expect to be thanked, nor do I expect an in-kind favor or gift. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not without some selfish motivation. Giving feels real good. In fact if someone insists on returning a favor or a gift, I kind of feel cheated out of the good feeling that giving and expecting nothing in return gave me. Worst part of being unemployed these days, is being reluctant to be as “giving” as I like to be.

  • http://www.cc-chapman.com C.C.

    I’m not saying I’m expecting anything in return. I give for the reason of helping people out. It is what I do.

    I just had several little things happen this week that when all piled on top of each other really got on me and is what made this post happen.

    I was raised to always say “thank you” and when even that isn’t given well…..doesn’t stop me from helping, but certainly tells me something about you as a person.

    (and no P-Dub, it wasn’t you *laugh*)

  • http://www.eddiehaynes.com Neevle

    Thanks for taking the time to share this with us. Good insight.

  • http://www.jamiesanford.com Jamie

    I was raised to say thank you whenever someone did something for me, held the door open, removed the plate in front of me at a restaurant, what’s the harm in thanking someone, even if it is their job? I still appreciate that they are there helping me enjoy my dining experience, even if they are getting paid for it.

    For the first 6 years working at my organization, I was praised for building strong relationships with the people in “central services” (Art, Production, Traffic, etc.) and I never thought about it as building relationships, I always tried to be friendly and polite.

    About a year ago I moved into a central role myself, and it became clear very quickly that not everyone has this sort of attitude. I have had things demanded of me multiple times with no regard for my time or other projects I might be working on.

    I realize now that “please” and “thank you” did help me, I’m sure I’ve received help over the years because I was nice to everyone and in return, they always helped me with my projects and last-minute requests without any resistance.

    I could go on about this topic at length, as I also mourn the apparent death of the handwritten note of thanks, which I will continue to write and send the rest of my life.