A Look Back on The Last Day of My Thirties

Last Day of my Thirties

This morning as I cleared the snow from my driveway in the dark hours before the sun rose, I realized that today was the last day of my thirties.

Ten years ago as I looked at the end of my twenties I was scared. Mortality was now a reality. What would happen to my family if my number came up and it was time to leave this big blue marble?

Age is one of those things that we rarely need to concentrate on. Sure, in those early days when we first turn ten and then sixteen and of course twenty one there are big reasons to know that age. But, then as you past those milestones the days trip away and you lose track of just how old you are. At least I did.

Laura will often give me a hard time when I have to pause and think about the answer to how old am I. Tomorrow, will I remember to reply with forty or will I still pause and need to figure it out?

I find myself wondering if I have more years ahead of me or behind me.

That reality is scary and I know that concentrating on it too long will put me into a state of fright that isn’t healthy.

I’ll raise a glass to the years past and hope for more in the future. But, I will not dwell on regrets or what could have been.

My life has been a good one. I found and married my best friend and we’ve been blessed with two beautiful, creative and healthy children.

I’ve seen more of the world than I ever imagined  possible when I was growing up in small town New Hampshire.

For all of time, there will be two books that anyone can read that will have my name on the cover.

My health has been good so far and I know I’ve been lucky on that front, so I’m working harder to insure it doesn’t become an issue in the future.

Work has taken more crazy turns than I would have imagined, but I’m truly doing work that I love and the fact that I found YSN and that I get up every morning excited for what is on my to-do list says a lot.

Sitting here thinking about everything that has happened over the last ten years is mind boggling. I can’t react any other way than to grin, shake my big old humble head and wonder what the next ten years holds for me.

Thinking about what I’d like to accomplish in the next ten years is an interesting exercise. The obvious answer is to check a few more things off my life list, but there are some bigger and simpler things as well.

The reality that I live in tells me that I know no matter how much I plan or think about it, nothing can prepare me for what will happen.

This day ten years ago found me scared, but today I’m excited.

Bring it world. I’m ready!

 

 

  • http://www.hallme.com/blog/author/amanda/ amanda_pants

    I love your reflective posts and your birthday posts. I think birthdays and new years are great times to take stock on what you have done, what you have and where you are going. Best of birthdays to you sir!

    • http://www.cc-chapman.com/ C.C. Chapman

      Thank you.

      I agree and sometimes am sad that I have them both right together so I don’t get to do the reflection thing twice a year like most others do.
      But, I’m glad others find some enjoyment in these sorts of posts. They are my favorite to write. No thinking, just typing.

  • http://www.aviatorsandacamera.com/ Kirsten Alana

    As per usual, you express some of the very things the world needs to hear more of. Namely, that growing older is a gift not a curse and that there is more to be excited about than there is to be scared of.

    I for one am glad that 40 will bring a meetup and a chance to have some photo fun together. I’ll be mere weeks away from another birthday myself then so we can toast to growing older gracefully. You’ve reminded me how important that is. Cheers, C.C. Happy (early) Birthday!

    • http://www.cc-chapman.com/ C.C. Chapman

      *grin*

      Getting the news yesterday that we will be seeing each other soon was awesome to hear. It has been FAR too long since that bus ride in Spain.
      Glad to hear what you took away from this post because I didn’t know WHAT people would react to, but you certainly grabbed the good bits.

      • http://www.aviatorsandacamera.com/ Kirsten Alana

        It has been far too long indeed!! And as someone who often puts far too much of herself into her writing and then worries what people will respond to, I get it. I do think though that this piece is all good bits ;)

  • http://alittleadrift.com/ Shannon O’Donnell

    It’s so interesting to hear your perspective on this birthday CC. I am hitting 30 in a week and am ready to tackle the next decade, but there is that hesitation about what’s to come. You have amazing things behind you at this point, and your perspective on what’s ahead too, though, is reassuring. I wish you all the best on this next decade of successes and joys! :)

    • http://www.cc-chapman.com/ C.C. Chapman

      Thank you very much.

      Hopefully in this next phase for both of us, our paths will cross again.
      I really want to sit down, share a meal and talk a LOT more.

      Onward and upward!

      • http://alittleadrift.com/ Shannon O’Donnell

        I agree! We need to make an in-person meal manifest this year, I’d so love to get a first hand chance to find out what you’re working on. :)

  • http://www.kaarinadillabough.com Kaarina Dillabough

    Happy no-longer-thirties bring on the forties to you C.C. Stay excited. Cheers! Kaarina

    • http://www.cc-chapman.com/ C.C. Chapman

      Thank you.

  • http://chrisbrogan.com/ Chris Brogan

    Scandal fans, anyone?

    • http://www.cc-chapman.com/ C.C. Chapman

      Not here so I’m now confused.

  • Clarence Smith Jr.

    So say we all. Happy Birthday, Brother. (BTW, Chris is saying you’ve got a “Huck” beard going on (character from Scandal).

    • http://www.cc-chapman.com/ C.C. Chapman

      Yeah I figured it out after I saw the photo even though mine is longer than his is. Guess I should watch the show huh?

      Great to chat this morning and can’t wait to take our cameras out walking soon.

  • http://www.mombloggersforsocialgood.com/ Jennifer James

    I just turned 39 last month and it was weird, but like you I tell the rest of my years I’m going hard. Bring it!! Happy BD.

    • http://www.cc-chapman.com/ C.C. Chapman

      Thank you and happy belated birthday.

  • http://stevenwb.postach.io/ swbuehler

    My former brother-in-law left a voice mail on our phone the day I turned 30 (I’m 41 now, and yes I had to think about it for a moment). It started with the usual gracious “happy birthday, congratulations on turning 30, etc.”, then after a brief pause: “YOU’RE AN OL’ FART NOW, AIN’T YA?!?” and then he hung up.

    (He’s “former” because of an unfortunate divorce, not because I disowned him or anything. He was the comedian of the family 😉)

UA-20439576-1