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I Share What I Want. Not You.

posted on August 22, 2011

Ok, time for a bit of truth, so please pay attention.

You choose who you follow on any social network.

You control what updates you see based on who you choose to follow, how you set up filters and what you decide to read.

Thus, you can not complain about someone tweeting, posting or sharing too much. Complaining about this is like complaining that the water is flowing too fast in the river that you’ve made a point of crossing. Don’t like it? Choose a different river.

It is impossible for someone to “over share” because they choose what they want to share with their community and they control the flow of information. If it is too much for you, then stop following them and be on your merry way.

Thanks for listening.

 

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Categories: Rants
  • Younes Bounhar

    Yup! if you don’t like it, move on…

  • Anonymous

    Preach it, CC. I’m with you on this one.

  • Anonymous

    True!

  • http://mattreport.com Matt Medeiros

    Agree sir! Share on!

  • pjhodges

    Chris Brogan posted a similar opinion on G+ a few days ago about how he’s not a “performing monkey” and invited people to move on. Good for you C.C. I’m following you on Twitter, Instagram and G+ and loving your stuff. Thanks!

    • http://www.cc-chapman.com/ C.C. Chapman

      I’ll have to look for that post because I must have missed it in his flood of posts *grin*

      Thanks for the kind words. I try to make sure that I share enough unique content on each platform to make it worthwhile.

  • http://twitter.com/lauriekalmanson lauriekalmanson

    oh snap

  • http://bhamla.com Saad Bhamla

    Nicely said.

  • Kristin Craiglai

    I recently had someone, not even someone who interacts with me on FB, ask me not to swear on my FB profile because kids read his feed.  I gently reminded him that I would say what I please on my personal wall and he was free to unfriend me.

    • http://www.cc-chapman.com/ C.C. Chapman

      Really? Wow…even that one leaves me a little speechless. 

  • http://bradonomics.com Brad West

    As people learn about scripts like F.B. Purity, I’d like to think they’ll stop complaining … Speaking of which, who’s making one of these for G+?

  • Adam

    That log looks very slippery. American health and safety regulators wouldn’t like it.

    • ArianneLasang

      hello

  • Julie Dennehy

    AMEN, brother. I’m tired of hearing people who don’t want to dip their toe in the social media stream use “there’s too much information” as an excuse.  Find the “unfollow/block” button, I say.

  • Thrdivarockin

    Well stated!

  • Jennpipe

    Yes!

  • http://www.cc-chapman.com/ C.C. Chapman

    Thanks for chiming in everyone. Guess I’m not the only one who thinks this way :)

  • http://twitter.com/Chris_Eh_Young Chris Eh Young

    I disagree…but only because you Tweeted that someone has to.

    • http://www.cc-chapman.com/ C.C. Chapman

      *laugh*

      I wondered who the first smart ass would be.

      Thanks for making me laugh this morning.

  • http://twitter.com/Kaneworks Marvin Kane

    C.C. – I’d like to disagree with you. It would make the conversation more interesting. Problem is, I totally agree. Something you’ll hear in my house all the time when we’re watching T.V. “Don’t like it? …. change the channel”

    • http://www.cc-chapman.com/ C.C. Chapman

      EXACTLY!!

  • http://twitter.com/Kaneworks Marvin Kane

    C.C., I’d like to disagree…really I would. Problem is I completely agree. Something you’ll always here in my house when we’re watching T.V. – “don’t like it? change the channel”

  • http://twitter.com/megfowler Meg Fowler

    Totally agree — and as someone who often overwhelms (well, not so much anymore, but I used to), I don’t take it personally when people unfollow or opt out of my stream.

    What’s weird, however, is when one of my friends who usually posts great stuff or has great conversations goes on a major political or religious or sales tangent, and it’s like their stream is possessed for a day or a week or a month. I don’t want to unfollow or “mute” them totally, because the good stuff is still in there, and I still care about them… but wow.

    The only thing you can do is ride it out, I suppose. But I do wonder what gets into folks sometimes.

    • http://www.cc-chapman.com/ C.C. Chapman

      Yes, I’ve been in those situations and it is tough, but like you said you just ride it out.

      I hope that the networks get better at allowing filters, but I know this is a hard nut to crack.

      I usually remind myself that it’ll pass by soon enough and I move on. Sometimes harder than others.

    • Jen Zingsheim

      I think I understand a bit what happens when someone goes on a tangent. It’s because they’ve opted to modulate their content for diverse audiences–then something gets under their skin, and they post from the heart/uncensored/unfiltered for a bit until it’s out of their system.

      I ride it out too. I know that these social networks are giving us more insight and clarity into what makes people tick than we’ve ever had before–to me, it is the ultimate question of social media: are we going to accept people warts and all in a more intimate setting, or are we going to choose just to surround ourselves with those with whom we agree? I pick a middle ground. I ride out the short bursts of “possession” (I love that image, thinking of Poltergeist) because I value the diversity. But if someone gets too wackadoo, I hide their feed or unfollow, because just like in “real life” I elect not to surround myself with toxic personalities.

      Your mileage may vary!

      The real question, in my mind, is why is this becoming such an issue now? I can’t place my finger on all of them, but I’ve seen a number of these types of posts lately–are people getting overwhelmed with social and don’t know how to regulate their own consumption of content, so they lash out at others, trying to control that which they cannot/should not try to control? It’s an interesting development. 

  • http://www.superdumbsupervillain.com/ superdumb

    Agreed. If you don’t like it, don’t subscribe to it– no one is forcing you to monitor their online presence. A sense of personal responsibility is often obscured by self-righteous indignation…and followed a torrent of snarky comments that will probably make someone else want to unfollow you. It’s the circle of life. 

  • schneidermike

    I guess you don’t give a shit about your audience. Are you just posting for you?

    • http://www.cc-chapman.com/ C.C. Chapman

      Actually yes I am.

      From day 1 that I touched the Internet I’ve always taken the approach (and have given this advice to others) that everything I write, create and share I do so for myself first and if other people enjoy it than all the better.
      My blog I’ve always treated as a personal journal. I’ve been writing here for eight years and have always taken that approach. It is why you don’t see posts every day and why I don’t get stressed if I haven’t written in a few days or weeks. I write when I have something to say and the topic could be anything from social media, to my kids to recipes. If I had more focus, I might have a bigger audience, but I don’t even look at the numbers. I just don’t need that sort of validation.

      Sure, I care about what my audience(s) think about what I put out there. But, when you have diverse channels such as Accident Hash, Managing the Gray and Digital Dads just to name a couple that cross over is never going to work because they are so different. But, that is why I try to channel it off so people can pay attention to what they want to.

      BUT, if someone follows me directly they are going to get the firehose of what I want to share and that is always the way it’ll be.

      • schneidermike

        I already knew the answer. Its obvious you care just by searching your blog for the word “sorry”.

        True you’ve always been the poster boy for passion. You were one of the first to talk about the importance of content and inspired me on many occasions. Thank you.

        Problem is there is no good way to test my theory beyond putting you in a bubble, taking control of / taking away your owned and earned properties, having you start from scratch on uncharted platforms and hooking electrodes up to see how your brain activity changes. It would hurt your business and wouldn’t prove much particularly if I was wrong.

        I also don’t find you very noisy (but that might be because I care about all of your topics and believe in being diverse about content.) The Chrisses and Robert have that market cornered.

      • http://www.cc-chapman.com/ C.C. Chapman

        *laugh*

    • http://personalcartography.com Tamsen McMahon (@tamadear)

      Hmm…I’d say we need to define “audience” here. We cannot be all things to all people, and in fact, trying to please everyone is the fastest path to pleasing none of them. 

      People get up in arms when the codes of behavior, and their attendant expectations, don’t align. If I like how often and what a particular person posts, then I’ll have no issue. If I don’t, I will. 

      But any wise person — or business — knows their efforts are best spent on converting the opinions of the neutral, and keeping their fans happy. Not in trying to change the opinions  of those who steadfastly disagree, nor in changing one’s own behavior to please that small group. 

      Doing so is inefficient at best, and completely alienating to your core audience, at worst.

    • http://www.cc-chapman.com/ C.C. Chapman

      And I should also say that of course I care and love those people out there that choose to follow, interact and become part of my community.

      It is because of them that I get to do a lot of the things I do.

      BUT, they don’t decide or drive me to do things. I do.

    • Eban Crawford

      When talking about an audience, isn’t it the audience that usually finds the talent that they like and respect, not the other way around?

       It would be a bit self flagellating to start following someone that irks you and then trying to change their behavior. 

      Capitulating to the folks that want to change the way you communicate would be turning your back on your true fans or friends.Just a thought.

  • Hiker1965

    Here here CC well said!  if you dont like the music change the channel there are plenty of other stations out there…

  • http://lairbob.com/ LairBob

    Well, I said my piece at greater length on your G+ post, but suffice it to say that…
      (a) I agree with you that “follow-me-all-or-nothing” is the only option you can offer people, right now, but 
      (b) I really don’t think that that’s a great model.

    We all modulate what we say, to who, IRL. Our online social relationships won’t ever approach their real potential until we can fluidly do the same online.

  • http://www.stevenwb.com swbuehler

    …and if you don’t like what I say or that your comment gets edited down or blocked, start your own (&#^$& blog. It’s called freedom of speech, baby! ;-)

  • Ash

    When people say you’re “oversharing” what they mean is you’re filling up their feed and they can’t see anyone else’s stuff. You’re pushing everyone else they’re following to the bottom of the feed. Scrolling leaves people weary. 

    I always unfollow people who tweet too much because I can’t hear anyone else I’m following, and there’s no way that person has read all the articles they are tweeting in one day. It’s just noise.

    Look at it from the readers point of view. You wouldn’t overshare info and push everyone else’s conversations out the way if you were at a cocktail party. Everyone agrees social media, networks, etc. are like a party. Let other people say something. Oversharing is basically wearing out your welcome. It’s yelling and not giving anyone else a chance to be heard.

    Don’t be so arrogant in thinking people want everything you have. Just share *some* things. Your fans probably really do like you, and want to hear you, but they just dont need to get drunk off you everyday. 

    Just my 2 cents :)

    • http://www.cc-chapman.com/ C.C. Chapman

      I hear what your saying, but I disagree. But that is what is great about life, we don’t all have to agree.

  • http://www.purplecar.net/ PurpleCar

    Of course, CC. I know this. But I am allowed, (obviously, following your logic) to post that I am upset that a person’s image, posting style, content, etc, has changed. I am allowed to express that disappointment. Telling people to shut up and just unfollow is oppressive. People can complain, just as you complained here about people complaining. 

    • http://www.cc-chapman.com/ C.C. Chapman

      Yup.

      As my dad taught me “to each their own.”

      That is what I love about this world.

  • http://www.purplecar.net/ PurpleCar

    sorry, double post.

  • http://www.stevenwb.com swbuehler
  • http://www.bobgoyetche.com BobGoyetche

    great post - If I would have written this, there would have been swear words

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