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Your Word is Your Bond

posted on May 2, 2012

I’ve always believed that your word is your bond.

Looking someone in the eye, telling them you are going to do something and shaking their hand is as good as a contract. Sure, I know that doesn’t hold up in court and in today’s world those handshakes are happening via e-mail and other electronic mediums it is a whole other ball of wax.

But, even though it is different, it is still important. Perhaps even more so because the Internet never forgets.

Unfortunately, I was reminded of this yesterday when a company that I took several hours out of a very busy schedule at an event to help with a marketing program of theirs, backed out of what they promised me.

Not only did they leverage my name, reputation and valuable time for their benefit, but in the end it was a complete one sided relationship where they got plenty out of it and all I was left with was frustration and a complete distrust of everyone involved with them and their company.

I do a lot of things for free. I enjoy helping people. I like taking part in fun initiatives when they present themselves.

My time is extremely valuable. Everyone should protect their time as one of their most valuable assets since it is the one thing you can never get more of.

But, because of this incident I’m certainly going to be more careful about who and what I agree to work with. Being taken advantage of never feels good and none of us should have to stand for it.

Make sure that you stand by your word. Yes, we all make mistakes and when they happen appologize and move forward to fix the situation. Don’t appologize and you can be sure that you’ll be labeled as someone not to work with and trust me when I say that word gets around very quickly when this happens.

Maybe it is small town of me, but if you can’t stand behind your word and be a good human in the process, than I’ve got no desire to help you out in any way.

I only want to work with good people, doing great things and who value my time.

Life is too short to be an asshat. Be a good person. I promise it’ll be more fun.

 

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Categories: Rants
  • http://justinkownacki.com/ Justin Kownacki

    I wish I could say that a well-written contract can defend against this, but that only applies if you can afford to see it through in court.  Ultimately, those who want to take advantage of people will.  Luckily, that still seems to be the minority of humans.  (A powerful minority, perhaps, but…)

    • http://www.cc-chapman.com/ C.C. Chapman

      True and this is nothing that even with a contract would have been brought to that level. In the grand scheme it is water under the bridge and I won’t lose any sleep over, but it felt like a good time to remind people.

  • http://twitter.com/fairminder Jim Spencer

    It’s a pity when folks grow up without knowing and acting based on the Golden Rule.

    • http://www.cc-chapman.com/ C.C. Chapman

      Right? Basic principals that far too many people grow up and forget about or never learn.

  • http://www.bobgoyetche.com BobGoyetche

    Online, and in real life, Karma is real, and will get them.

     Don’t change who you are too much because of these asshats.

    • http://www.cc-chapman.com/ C.C. Chapman

      Karma is a bitch! I have no doubt about it.

  • Javery8

    Are you going to tell us who the asshats are?
     

    • http://www.cc-chapman.com/ C.C. Chapman

      No need and it wouldn’t do any good for me or them. 

  • http://twitter.com/KristaNeher Krista Neher

    I’ve had things like this happen a number of times, and it sucks. Now, I always make sure that all agreements are in writing (even if only email) so that there isn’t ambiguity of the responsibilities of each party.

    • http://www.cc-chapman.com/ C.C. Chapman

      Well it WAS clearly laid out in e-mail which is what angered me even more. I went back to make sure I wasn’t imagining things.

      But, live and learn. Not all people are honest enough to stick by their words. Honestly in this case it was a little thing and in the end I’m going to forget about it, but I’ll never forget about them and what they did. They certainly won’t get good references when asked about.

      • whitneyhoffman

        Um, do you need your lawyer to send them a reminder of what honor is all about????? This could happen.

      • http://www.cc-chapman.com/ C.C. Chapman

        *wicked grin* No, that is not needed or warranted here.

        Just a company not appreciating a favor or living up to their part of the agreement.

        With me once trust is broken, you are dead to me. As they are now.

  • http://stevegarfield.com Steve Garfield

    I got two checks in the mail this week. One was for something I did two weeks ago, and the other was for something I did last week! Both engagements were done over email with people that I’ve developed relationships with over the past few years. Each engagement was a pleasure from start to finish. I was happy to share via social media. No contract needed. They agreed to pay me to do what I do. I did it, they paid. We’ll work together again.

    • http://www.cc-chapman.com/ C.C. Chapman

      And it always feels good when it works that way. 

      I just cashed a couple of checks as well from great companies that I’ll work with again in the future. I think I just need to stop doing anything for free. It is amazing how much better  you are treated when they are paying you for your time and work :)

      • Welsh Laura

        That is unfortunate though, hopefully this is a temporary feeling CC……some people may need a hand, a thought, some insight from someone like you “for free”………it is a balance in your world I understand. Stay who you are…….most people will respect it and honor it!

  • http://kommein.com Deb Ng

    All we have is our word and our name, C.C. and if we go back on one, the other takes a hit. I wish handshakes still held the same value as they did back in the day. Sorry you had such an unfavorable experience.

    • http://www.cc-chapman.com/ C.C. Chapman

      Amen to that!!!

      It sucks, but at least I took the high road and didn’t hang them out to dry like originally crossed my mind.

      • http://www.bobgoyetche.com BobGoyetche

        I’d email them a link to this post, though :)  

      • http://www.cc-chapman.com/ C.C. Chapman

        Who says I haven’t already? :)

  • Danielle Smith

    So truly disappointing C.C…..  I’ve had similar experiences and unfortunately, it makes you less trusting of the ‘simple handshake’ deals with good people.  The good news….you are the kind to stand by your word and will continue to do so, despite a poor experience like this…

    • http://www.cc-chapman.com/ C.C. Chapman

      Exactly and thankfully the good and honest people far exceed the people like this in my experience. 

  • http://www.davedelaney.me/ Dave Delaney

    So sorry to read this C.C. What jerks. 
    I want to Ragu their houses! 

    • http://www.cc-chapman.com/ C.C. Chapman

      That is hysterical!!!

  • http://twitter.com/frankjonen Frank Jonen

    There should be a public place to pin those companies. Like a Pinterest for asshats. Pinatarest.com or something. In our network of peers we just have a list where each of us posts the whats and the whys of the story with full names of all people involved. Problematic to do in a public place, but this is private among peers. However it’s an important tool for us in avoiding problems and steer clear of bad business.

    • http://www.cc-chapman.com/ C.C. Chapman

      I do have a board where I share stupid pitches if you need a laugh.

      http://pinterest.com/cc_chapman/idiots-who-pitch-me/

      But, I know what you mean and I think that there are circles of friends who DO share this information. I know I’ve got a group of friends who we all keep each other updated on events, companies and people that we should all avoid working with.

  • http://twitter.com/gavinllewellyn Gavin Llewellyn

    Wow, this post couldn’t be more timely for me! 

    Only this week I have had to deal with a very difficult person who I started a project with and then bailed just as we got started. In many ways it feels as though all the work I had put into building the project has been for nothing. 

    But what I found most disturbing was the other person’s attitude. Instead of just saying they no longer wanted to continue, they simply stopped responding to my emails and phone calls and ignored me!

    I’ve tried to take positives away from the experience but it’s nevertheless made me a little wary of working with others again whom I do not know well. 

    “…in the end it was a complete one sided
    relationship where they got plenty out of it and all I was left with was
    frustration and a complete distrust of everyone involved…”

     
    That’s exactly how I felt.

    • http://www.cc-chapman.com/ C.C. Chapman

      It sucks for sure and sorry to hear you went through it recently too. Is it a full moon right now or something?

      It is hard to take positives away from something like this, but I always try to look at it more along the lines of learning what NOT to do next time. That is really the only positive as your more prepared and cautious in the future.

  • http://www.stevenwb.com swbuehler

    The good thing is that for every idiot who takes advantage of you, there are usually a half-dozen or more who genuinely appreciate and acknowledge your generosity. 

    • http://www.cc-chapman.com/ C.C. Chapman

      Exactly and that is why life moves on and remains positive.

  • dblacombe

    C.C. – sorry to hear this. What a pain! In Calgary (where you visited us for Third Tuesday) it’s an odd mix of handshake deals (your pic above could easily be here) and oil and gas lawyers. More often than not I do handshake deals or the equivalent with multi-billion dollar companies. It’s all about the trust and relationships. But the odd time some asshat tries to squeeze out what they don’t deserve. Or completely reneges on a deal. Arggh!

    At a million people Calgary is too small to burn bridges, but now North America, the world is too small to burn bridges!

    I love your positive “moving on” attitude! Joke ‘em if they can’t take a …

    Karma’s on your side sir. Carry on! 

    • http://www.cc-chapman.com/ C.C. Chapman

      Exactly.

      I grew up in small town New Hampshire and I’ve always held it close to my heart that your reputation is all you have.

  • http://www.hightechdad.com hightechdad

    Part of me says hang em out to dry so that others will be warned. But the other side is about karma. If you sent them the link to this, that’s probably enough. I guess time to pack up and move on.

    • http://www.cc-chapman.com/ C.C. Chapman

      I sent them the link and they are dead to me. I’m moving forward. Too many GOOD companies out there who want to work with me to worry about the bad apples out there.

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  • Marissa Sweazy

    So true, C.C. Sorry you had a bad experience!