Closing the Book on Another Year

Facing the reality that this will only be the fifth post I’ve written here in all of 2021 was a bit of a shock and, at the same time, the obvious answer.

Writing is self-care for me, and if I’m being honest, I haven’t been taking all that great care of myself during this global clusterfuck we are all living through. My focus has been on doing what I can to keep those around me comfortable, sane, and COVID negative through all of this.

I have been writing a bit on the site I set up at school. Writing about the semester’s fun I’ve had and taking my students into the Metaverse to expose them to all the hype. There has also been plenty of chicken scratch in my journal with a bit of regularity. But I’ve neglected this most sacred of spaces and today felt like a good day to brain dump.

Decembers are hard. Maybe challenging is a better word? They always have been.

Endings in preparation for new beginnings. Dark days. Lonely nights with a busy mind.

But, as I approach celebrating another road trip around the sun, I’m not as reflective as usual. It might be the fact that I’m a week behind, and the reality that Christmas Eve is a week from today genuinely confused me. Not sure where I lost a week, but haven’t we all lost the last two years almost?

I dove into work this past year serving on different committees, taking on more responsibilities, and growing as an educator. Co-teaching this fall with another professor I barely knew went better than I could have ever imagined. Writing a detailed report with three life-long academics has opened my eyes to so much. This coming year will be an interesting one as the school goes through the kind of transition I’ve never been part of, and I’m looking forward to what I learn through all of it.

Most days, I’m filled with a kind of rage that is normal for our world these days. Too many people are not being held accountable for their harmful actions, from people in power down to the everyday person who refuses to do what would help those around them. Following the rules and common decency is now optional as generations of participation trophy cry babies are empowered by the misinformation buffet black mirrors all around them.

I long for the day when we will finally be able to safely spend time with friends, strangers, and students without our masks, even though that little piece of emotional cover will go away that I’ve grown used to having.

Even as I watch humanity take another dangerous turn, every day, I see little moments that remind me that even with all the bad, there is always good. Each of those slices of positivity reminds me there is plenty to be thankful and hopeful for. Humanity has done plenty of evil shit during our short time on Earth, and yet we always find a way forward.

Wow, my coffee cup runs out, and I go darker than my morning brew.

I’m thankful for every day I get to walk the earth. Just yesterday I was reminded by a stranger who found a copy of Amazing Things Will Happen and the words touched his life. Moments like that make me thankful. Waking up each morning to kisses from Jaz makes me thankful. Being able to hug my kids good night and good morning makes me thankful. Having a job, I love, and a wife who loves me makes me thankful.

As my Dad always told us, “someone is always having a worse day than you are.”

2022 is around the corner, and none of us know what it holds. We all have pieces on the gameboard, but the rules are still being defined.

As I dive into reading my next good book, finish up my grading and then hopefully enjoy a productive winter break, I hope each of you who chose to spend a few minutes with my rambles has a happy and safe rest of the year.

Don’t let the asshats get you down!