This morning as I cleared the snow from my driveway in the dark hours before the sun rose, I realized that today was the last day of my thirties.
Ten years ago as I looked at the end of my twenties I was scared. Mortality was now a reality. What would happen to my family if my number came up and it was time to leave this big blue marble?
Age is one of those things that we rarely need to concentrate on. Sure, in those early days when we first turn ten and then sixteen and of course twenty one there are big reasons to know that age. But, then as you past those milestones the days trip away and you lose track of just how old you are. At least I did.
Laura will often give me a hard time when I have to pause and think about the answer to how old am I. Tomorrow, will I remember to reply with forty or will I still pause and need to figure it out?
I find myself wondering if I have more years ahead of me or behind me.
That reality is scary and I know that concentrating on it too long will put me into a state of fright that isn't healthy.
I'll raise a glass to the years past and hope for more in the future. But, I will not dwell on regrets or what could have been.
My life has been a good one. I found and married my best friend and we've been blessed with two beautiful, creative and healthy children.
I've seen more of the world than I ever imagined possible when I was growing up in small town New Hampshire.
For all of time, there will be two books that anyone can read that will have my name on the cover.
My health has been good so far and I know I've been lucky on that front, so I'm working harder to insure it doesn't become an issue in the future.
Work has taken more crazy turns than I would have imagined, but I'm truly doing work that I love and the fact that I found YSN and that I get up every morning excited for what is on my to-do list says a lot.
Sitting here thinking about everything that has happened over the last ten years is mind boggling. I can't react any other way than to grin, shake my big old humble head and wonder what the next ten years holds for me.
Thinking about what I'd like to accomplish in the next ten years is an interesting exercise. The obvious answer is to check a few more things off my life list, but there are some bigger and simpler things as well.
The reality that I live in tells me that I know no matter how much I plan or think about it, nothing can prepare me for what will happen.
This day ten years ago found me scared, but today I'm excited.
Bring it world. I'm ready!