Gut Reactions to a Horrible Day
The news is still breaking, details emerging, numbers rising.
I'm only writing because I can't stand to watch another second of the news and the endless loops of the same videos. I can't stand to hit refresh on my Twitter account. To see people already pointing fingers, making gross assumptions and don't even get me going on the stream of autotweets and non human interactions.
Final confirmation that every runner I knew in the Marathon is safe. I can breath a bit better knowing that.
My emotions are a soup of disgust as I try to keep the sadness from boiling over into anger.
They just announced that a child is one of those taken from us. That makes my blood boil and the rage start to leak out.
We can never explain why someone would decide to act out in this way. How another human can lose their soul and decide to inflict pain and suffering on others.
This isn't about race, religion or anything else. It is about humans gone bad. Rotting from the inside to the point where they decide they need to unleash mayhem.
I think back to 9-11 and my reactions. I was not as in control of me emotions as I am now.
My children were young enough that they had no idea what was going on. I hugged them and prayed they'd never have to face this. Today we sat on the couch as a family and watched it all happen before our eyes.
Thank you to all my friends who checked in to make sure we were safe. I never thought to update everyone that I was as I was more concerned about what was going on. I even broke rule one of being a child and didn't contact my parents immediately to let them know I was ok.
These coming hours and days are going to be long and hard. No matter who or why this happened it won't make it any better.
I looked out the window just now and saw the setting sun and had to share the moment. Just like I had to capture and share my thoughts as they come to mind because as a writer that is what I do.
I try to have faith that humanity will pull together. There were runners from around the globe. This isn't just a Boston tragedy, but having it on my doorstep does give me pause.
A good friend who is about to have his first child asked me moments ago how I deal with this as a parent. The only think I could say is that you say I Love You every time you leave the side of those you love and you live every day like it might be the last.
Be safe. Be strong. Be smart.
Boston, I love you.