Friday morning I poured a cup of coffee, grabbed my phone, turned on the local news and plopped down on the couch the same as any morning.
Sip the coffee. Turn on the phone.
It is a process that happens most mornings.
My phone was full of messages and wiping away the night I quickly realized that things were not well.
A simple comment by someone on a friend's Facebook wall had started a wave of concern. Was our friend dead? Was it a joke? Was it in reference to his last Facebook post about being sick of all the hate he was seeing everywhere?
Messages were sent. Concern grew.
Sadly, our worst fears were quickly confirmed.
Thursday night, my Friend Bob Goyetche wasn't feeling good and then he was gone. One moment this loving father and devoted husband was going about his day and the next he was no longer with us.
We've set up a memorial fund to help pay for his son's educational costs. Simon is only thirteen and I can't begin to imagine how he is doing right now. I've chatted with his wife and she is holding up better than I would be. I guess when faced with something like this, you find the strength.
One of the many things I loved about Bob was that he had no tolerance for bullshit. While he loved podcasting and the good that came via social media, he hated the douchebags that muddied the waters of something he loved. He always told me that he loved it when I went on a rant because he knew I tried to put forth only positivity at all times.
We were both members of the 2004 Club.
When podcasting first started, we were one of the few out there doing shows and of course we connected. Many long commutes were made bearable listening to episodes of The Bob & AJ Show.
I first got to hug the man at Podcamp Boston. I'll never forget the late night in someone's hotel room laughing, singing and being complete goofballs.
Sadly, I never made it to his conference Podcasters Across Borders.
EVERY year something would come up to prevent me from going. Emily's first play, the death of my grandmother or something else.
There are plans to do another one next year in his memory and once the date is announced I'll start worrying about what may come up to prevent me from going because you can be damn sure it is going to be the highest priority thing on my calendar. Hopefully it doesn't conflict with Dylan's graduation.
I wish the story ended here with fond memories of Bob and being in a haze of sadness all weekend.
Bob liked me best when I ranted, so I know he won't mind me including one here. In fact I think he'd get a good laugh at it.
Shortly after the confirmation came of his passing I shared the above photo of the two of us on Instagram.
Bob I'll never forget all the laughs we shared. You loved my rants and still to this day whenever I get that way a little voice in the back of my head would giggle "Bob is going to appreciate this." The world lost a great man, a devoted husband and a loving father. Rest In Peace my Friend. I'm going to miss you.
Now, if you are not aware there are tools to "help" lazy people comment on Instagram. You give the tools hashtags, people or topics you want to follow, provide it with a handful of generic comments and the tool will go forth and comment on photos following the parameters you set up.
The thought is someone will see the comment, click through to your account and follow you. After all, it is all about the numbers right?
This has been going on for a while and I have always shook my head and never cared much. Every day I have a couple of accounts that do this. Every week a few new ones swing by. It is obvious once you know what to look for.
If someone wants to waste their money on commenting on my photos I don't care.
But, when your robot posts a "Nice!" on my remembrance photo, I am going to lose my shit.
I love marketing, but I hate marketers who use lazy tactics or sleazy practices to try and get ahead.
As I screamed at my screen, I said something along the lines of "I'm going to burn this motherfucker to the ground!"
A tweet and a reply to them on MY Instagram page and then a wave hit me. A true reality bitchslap that I hadn't had in a long time.
These people are not worth the time or energy!
Anyone who knows me, knows that I have no tolerance for stupidity. Just ask Ragu or any of the other brands who in the past decided to be stupid and lazy in my direction.
That ended this weekend. Ended for good. Forever.
One moment I was mourning my dear friend and the next I was screaming about someone that I've never met and honestly don't care one bit about.
One man was a Friend and a good person. The other was a lazy marketer who obviously cared more about himself than anyone else.
Instead of moving forward as I planned, I stopped. I blocked his accounts and a calm fell over me.
I can't put into words how the wave of emotions shifted inside of me. It honestly felt like a wave of energy and suddenly I found myself feeling completely differently.
Sure, he later deleted his comment and reported my own comment to Instagram. He never apologized and probably never will. But, I don't care. I don't care one bit about this lazy, sleazy soul.
Life is too short to care about those who do things like this. Sure, I'll use it and future mess ups as case studies in my class (I can't wait to teach around this one *grin*) but I'm no longer going to go on crusades to try and teach the stupid how to do things better. Why should I?
My energy is going to be spent on spending more time with those I care about. I didn't spend enough time with Bob and now I never can.
The rest of the weekend proved to me that this wasn't just a momentary lapse, but a complete mindset shift for me.
Thankfully lunch with an out of town friend, time in the yard chopping wood and getting ready for winter and being surrounded by my family helped me get through all of this.
Bob, I miss you and I'm sorry we didn't get to see each other more.
The world lost one of the GOOD guys.